Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Filled Under:

WHO KNEW?

This little item came over the Interwebbie machine last night . . . S.L.


46-year-old Carolyn Kesel of Seneca Falls, New York went to a Walmart last week, bought two small bottles of vanilla extract . . . and decided to CHUG them in the parking lot.

It messed her up so much that she started drunk driving around the parking lot, and couldn't figure out how to get out.

When the cops pulled her over, it turned out she had a blood-alcohol level of .26 . . . which is more than three times the legal limit. She was arrested for felony driving while intoxicated.

It turns out vanilla extract is 41% alcohol . . . which means it's 82 proof. That's actually LESS alcoholic than some other forms of extract . . . orange and peppermint extract are both 89% alcohol, or almost 180 proof.

There's a little corner of the Interwebbie where the Brothers meet . . . I call it the Double-Extra-Top-Secret-Unauthorized-Special-Forces-Illegal-Team-Back-Channel-Frequency . . .

. . . the conversations always there go One Step Beyond . . .

Team Guy: Good information . . . Can't afford a six-pack get the Extract LMAO

S.L.: I bet you can buy it in bulk somewhere for half price . . .

S.L.: 25 ounces to 750 ml . . . 25 / 2 = 12.5 . . . $4.12 X 12.5 oz's = $51.50 . . . not a cheap high

Team Guy: Oh damn . . . never was good at math . . . Imagine the charges though - under the influence of vanilla extract . . .

S.L.: "So, what are you in for?" . . . "uh.. vanilla, man.." . . . "No, I didn't ask what you ARE Honky . . . I asked what are you IN FOR ? ? ?"

Team Guy: ROFLMAO ! ! !

S.L.: I wonder if the vanilla itself has any effect? Hmmm . . . I bet we have some in the kitchen cabinets . . . hmmmm . . .

Team Guy: Empirical research

S.L.: WELL WELL WELL LOOKY WHAT WE GOT HERE FOLKS ! ! !

Like any good Child of the Seventies . . . always in search of the Next High . . .

Team Guy: Doooooooooh

S.L.: Anybody ever want to know . . . that's some pretty rough stuff to chug . . . dddnt smmm t2 B hvign aany efffct thougggh . . .

Team Guy: LOL

S.L.: We're carving out some new frontiers here menzes . . . . SCIENCE ! ! ! I can see an opportunity smuggling footlockers full of this shit into US FOBs that fall under General Order No 1 . . . "PSST Hey Buddy - you want some VANILLA???"

Team Queen: I know. My words exactly.

S.L.: OK Team this is where I went with it . . . took a pint of half & half . . . added about a cup of vodka . . . about 3 tablespoons of really dark dark DARK cocoa powder . . . about 2 tablespoons of expresso coffee . . . then I jammed that 2 oz's of Vanilla Extract in there . . . shook it all up . . . all I need now is what to NAME this milkshake ? ? ?

Bionic Team Guy: How about WILLY PETE?

S.L.: Willy Pete is a DAMN GOOD NAME for it . . . seeing as my favorite soul singer is Wilson Pickett and I started out as a Mortar Maggot ! ! !

Team Queen: How does it taste?

S.L.: Sort of like alcoholic sump oil out of the bottom of an M151 jeep.

Bionic Team Guy: LOL Mortar Maggot might fit it better. Replace the vodka with 151 and call that the Willy Pete.

S.L.: Hmmm . . . not a bad idea . . . 151 is some pretty lethal brew, perfectly good for mixing with shit . . . and I had a lot of WEIRD EXPERIENCES partying with the Puerto Ricans back in the Eighty-Duece . . . never a dull moment that's for sure . . .

You want to know what war is like? Re-read the dialogue above . . . these are the kinds of conversations you have in war . . .

THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT . . .


STORMBRINGER SENDS

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
back-copies.eu.org backhaus-schroeer.eu.org bainbridgestrategy.eu.org barbarabutterfield.eu.org barefoot-resort.eu.org basketsbycestcheese.eu.org battle-armor-he-man.eu.org battle-armor-skeletor.eu.org battle-bones.eu.org battle-ram.eu.org battlearmorheman.eu.org battlearmorskeletor.eu.org bayheadboxers.eu.org beeline-intl.eu.org beeline-uk.eu.org beelineuk.eu.org bellsonyourtoes.eu.org benchmarkhomessa.eu.org benedictdesigns.eu.org bernardginhoux.eu.org wood flooring ideas the networks board game Adult Learning Theories sexy lingerie tattoo designs wallpaper artist health category insurance financial category Category Online Money Category Home Improvement online business category Category software games and android category marketing advertising category marketing advertising Criminal Justice Planning Agency Lawyers Association The Best of Insurance http://celebritytidings.eu.org http://livingandfashion.eu.org Academic Advising Audio logo Stock Audio auto repair advice guide Healthy Women Medical Centre busy with business Car Finance Tools Debt Settlement Lawyer crafty stash corner cuentas and colors Cheap Wedding Dresses drug abuse statistics Lifestyle Home Solutions education essay titles finance insurance premium Lawyer and Legal Information guide healthy recipes health problems of children health topics kids home decorating service home improvement project home improvement project management home improvement project planning home insurance morgages house insurance plan house insurance progressive The Savings Bank insurance agency business loans insurance business loans insurance premium loan legacy landscape blocks legacy landscape contractors legacy landscape materials personal insurance loan real estate for commercial Bedroom Furniture Lawyer Requirements Concept Design teach about alcohol abuse technology support autocar the family deal tile flooring ideas tips lifetime fitness tips reduce car insurance quotes Online Jewelry Stores traveller hotel Insurance and Finance Auto and Parts Mortgage and Finance Drug Abuse Online Lottery Games Drug Abuse Health and Fitness Health and Fitness free music downloads Law Reports Wallpapers Artist online shop originals Product Auto Parts Web Developer online shop originals Product Insurance Company Health Life Technology System Home Security Beauty Cosmetic Online Travel Agency Linux Tips Guide Shooting Simulator Gadgets Technology Project Build Houses Payday Loans Health News Information Animals Shop Travel Agency North Owl Network Dentist Healthy Aging asian pretty The Tool Hospital Barbecook Best way to make Money with Forex Trading Green Home Design Online Lottery Party Clothing lawyer salary information auto car loans and insurance European Education Technology Terms The shirts and Jackets Design Capital One Credit Cards Commercial Real Estate Business Plan Competition travel channel and rental cars Pharmacy and drugs