Monday, November 10, 2014

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There is a disturbance in the Force . . . the recent media spotlight the SEALs have brought upon themselves . . . and now THIS incredibly arrogant ass . . . S.L.

Bin Laden Shooter Openly Disses Delta Force: ‘Delta doesn’t f**king do anything.’

You can possibly imagine the traffic this has generated on the Special Forces Ultra Top Secret Unauthorized Illegal Team Backchannel Frequency; it has evolved into everybody's stupidest SEAL stories from operating with them . . . this shit is hilarious and I can't make this shit up:

"This took place in Greece in the 80s. We picked up a SEAL team on ghetto coastline. When they parachuted in over the water they lost their radio equipment. They had a radio but not stuff to go with it. Our commo guy helped them out. I can't even say they're at least good swimmers because they road a boat from the drop site to the shoreline.
We walked them to our camp in the mountains. It was a couple days walk for them. They struggled quite a bit with this. Once in camp I took them later to their re-supply DZ. They had no idea what altitude the plane was going to be at what azimuth it was travelling and if was going to be American or Greek pilots. I don't know was their answer to all that. I opened the CEOI (Communications Electronic Operators Instructions) what we used back then which shows you what to do but they had no idea. They didn't even know how to set up a NATO "L".
But when I commented on the cool aftermarket stuff they had with sleeping bags and cooking equipment, I was told, 'Well our mission is Real World, not like you guys.' "

"Former CAG SGM buddy once told me the SEAL TTP for room clearing is to kick down the door, start shooting, and don't stop until all the sheetrock is down. ... then there was their failed hostage rescue mission where they threw a grenade in the room and killed the hostage, a British female journalist (circa Oct 09)."

"Couple more over-the-top and/or "ridiculous" SEAL stories: One day six or seven of them jumped their junior officer, violently grabbing and man-handling him. He fought back ferociously (no shit, he was flailing at them) until one guy reached in and grabbed him hard by the balls and squeezed. That took the fight out of him. They then took him over to a water-filled dunk tank and dumped him in (in uniform). The reason? Turned out it was his birthday."

"We did a night jump into the South China Sea, and the SEALs were retrieving us. They came up to me in their boat, but then I heard someone calling out for help. I told them that I was fine, and that they should go tend to whomever needed help. Their reply? "He's a sniveler, and snivelers get picked up last." Fortunately, no one was in serious trouble - it turned out that our team leader (who I liked and was a pretty decent sort) had his chute fall on him in the water, and with the 2-3 feet chop and a chute over his head he freaked a bit and cut the chute and then called for help (our rigger was a bit peeved, though he wasn't the guy floating out in the S. China Sea in the middle of the night bobbing around with a chute wrapped around his head).
At the end of exercise ceremony, when he walked up to get a joke certificate that the Aussies (I think) had cooked up for the occasion, the SEALs, in formation and all in unison, cried out "HEEEEELP!" in girlishly high voices. Quite the cards. A handful of SEALS parachuted into the water early in the Grenada episode: every one of them drowned and the bodies, to my knowledge, were never recovered. Not so much of a ha ha then."

"We were in El Sal and we had a SEAL platoon with us, or part of one, on a FID mission. One of my team mates, Joe Bob, was just all over this SEAL, all day. By the end of the day, Joe Bob had this SEAL pup crying like a little bitch. We were on a range so I don't know what he specifically said to him, but the SEAL couldn't take it.
FWIW I know "Joe Bob" and he can fuck with a guy's head, he is an expert at psychological cruelty - S.L.

In Panama the SEALS attempted to conduct a linear assault across an open runway - no cover, no concealment = "no go" - entire team KIA.

"Here's a quick one: we hit a target and wrap it up, reposition to flex to another target . . . standing by in an overwatch position waiting for more intell before launching to the next gig. We're about 400 meters from the target we just hit (it's night, otherwise we'd be further back).
I dismount my vehicle, go straight to the minigun and tell the SEAL gunner, 'Hey man, check this out . . . if anyone maneuvers to or from that building, puts rounds in to the gate next to the building.'
That whole neighborhood was hunkered down after the scunnion we had just laid there, no one was even thinking of moving around the rest of the night. Then no more than three seconds after I gave the scoop to the SEAL, he immediately smokes through 800-1000 rounds of 7.62 mini-gun into said gate.
Like, WTF, over? This is what happens when SEALs are scared and trigger happy."

"This was back when I was in 2/75th: we jump make a mad dash to the ORP to link up with 4 SEALs. They are supposed to find the target. One of them is "looking for it" and the other three cannot walk because they wore jeans to the field and got rained on and now they were too chaffed to walk.
Fast Forward, C/2/5th: we are doing a red flag (exercise); SEALs HALO in to Dugway (4500 ft ASL) and don't set their Altimeters and pull at about 1100 ft.
Last ordeal: we are chasing poachers across Kenya, the Platoon leader for the SEALs gets bagged because he used velcro to secure machineguns to the boats and lost two M-60's.
The CPO didn't make it because he was doing steroids, he had roid rage and beat his wife near to death with a claw hammer."

SEAL stories from the Balkans: there were a lot of shenanigans in BiH, the SEALS were acting like kids without any kind of adult leadership. I remember a couple of SEALs showing their ass in Sarajevo by getting drunk and started grab-assing and wrestling in public with side arms falling onto the ground. Then there was their clusterfuck at the bridge when we kicked off the bombing of Serbia/Kosovo. May still be classified, so I'll just refer to it using two words: Bridge Clusterfuck.

My personal favorite SEAL episode: a fellow team sergeant in 1st/3d had an old t-shirt from when he was on ODA 555 - it had the SF Combat Diver badge with the sharks (not yet authorized) and featured these sharks wearing Oakley sunglasses, like the old Maui surfwear shark, clubbing these Seals that were wearing little Dixie cup Navy hats . . . forlorn looks on their faces, bleeding from the nose & mouth, trying to crawl away and some of them had X's where their eyes were. The caption was "ODA 555 - ARMY SHARKMEN CLUB BABY SEALS"
He was wearing it one time in a mess hall at an FOB and we passed a table full of SEALs - OH MY GAWD you should have heard them squeal "THAT'S FUCKED UP MAN!" They were so pissed off and we were outnumbered ten to one but at a time like that you just brazen it out and balls your way through it . . . just smile and look 'em in the eye like "Oh yeah, well FUCK YOU what are you gonna do about it?"

Then there's THIS remarkable memorandum signed by the two top SEALs and distributed in the clear:

I think there is going to be a "Come to Jesus Meeting" very soon from the SEAL command down to the Teams if they have not already had one. I think the public letter was a just a warning shot across the bow. Naval Special Warfare is going to put out the hurt shortly.




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