Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Filled Under:

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN PHOENIX - DENVER - CHARLOTTE - PHILLY

It was a long flight back . . . and this really happened . . . S.L.

Coming back from the ISB Reunion . . . flights kept getting bumped . . . got on the plane God Knows Where and this kind of dumpy Baby Huey looking guy with nerd glasses plonks himself down in between me and the window seat . . .



Its something I gotta deal with. I think about all the continents I've traversed by wheeled motor transport, and airplanes are ten million times better. I'm a Stoic so I deal with it, right?

Then this BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY in a white summer sun dress floats up the aisle . . .



"Excuse me," Miss Body Lovely says to Fatso. "I'm 11B."

Fatso looks at his ticket, goes, "Oh. I'm 10B."

Then, before I had a chance to grab Nerd Nutz by the ass and do a Samsonite gorilla number on his fat ass . . .



. . . Nerd Nutz says to Young Miss Cool Summer Breeze: "YOU CAN SIT IN MY SEAT UP THERE IN THAT ROW . . .

It happened too fast for me to make my move . . .

I sat there for a moment in stunned silence . . . I finally snapped out of it, I had to say something . . . I couldn't let this outrage occur without calling it out for what it was . . . a Crime Against Humanity . . .

I looked Nerd Nutz in the eye and pointed at the numbers over the seats. "ELEVEN. VERY CLOSE TO TEN, BUT NOT THE SAME."

Nerd Nutz looked at me with a confused look, which looked somehow natural on his face.

I gestured toward Miss Beautiful, then I gestured toward the Walking Salami. "ONE," I said, "VERY CLOSE TO ZERO, BUT NOT THE SAME. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT DIFFERENT."

He's looking at me like I've got a cock growing out of the middle of my forehead. He's not used to an American Non-Comm giving him The Business.

Meanwhile, over in the window seat, Banana Bender from South America is LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF.

I continue.

"IT'S THAT MATH THING."

I laid it on thick. Nerd Nutz was feeling the shame. He knew he'd done wrong. Finally I asked, "WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING???"

Wait for it . . . Nerd Nutz shamefully utters:

"I'm an accountant . . ."

Me and Banana Bender are POSITIVELY DYING ! ! !

I says, "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR ? ? ?"

Nerd Nuts starts to mumble something and I cut him off. "DON'T TELL ME BECAUSE I'LL MAKE A PHONE CALL ! ! !"

The journey continues. We get to the other side. Before the pilot switches off the fasten seatbelt sign, I make sure to rinse and repeat all of the above in reverse. Banana Bender was totally on my side.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it . . .

STORMBRINGER SENDS






0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
back-copies.eu.org backhaus-schroeer.eu.org bainbridgestrategy.eu.org barbarabutterfield.eu.org barefoot-resort.eu.org basketsbycestcheese.eu.org battle-armor-he-man.eu.org battle-armor-skeletor.eu.org battle-bones.eu.org battle-ram.eu.org battlearmorheman.eu.org battlearmorskeletor.eu.org bayheadboxers.eu.org beeline-intl.eu.org beeline-uk.eu.org beelineuk.eu.org bellsonyourtoes.eu.org benchmarkhomessa.eu.org benedictdesigns.eu.org bernardginhoux.eu.org wood flooring ideas the networks board game Adult Learning Theories sexy lingerie tattoo designs wallpaper artist health category insurance financial category Category Online Money Category Home Improvement online business category Category software games and android category marketing advertising category marketing advertising Criminal Justice Planning Agency Lawyers Association The Best of Insurance http://celebritytidings.eu.org http://livingandfashion.eu.org Academic Advising Audio logo Stock Audio auto repair advice guide Healthy Women Medical Centre busy with business Car Finance Tools Debt Settlement Lawyer crafty stash corner cuentas and colors Cheap Wedding Dresses drug abuse statistics Lifestyle Home Solutions education essay titles finance insurance premium Lawyer and Legal Information guide healthy recipes health problems of children health topics kids home decorating service home improvement project home improvement project management home improvement project planning home insurance morgages house insurance plan house insurance progressive The Savings Bank insurance agency business loans insurance business loans insurance premium loan legacy landscape blocks legacy landscape contractors legacy landscape materials personal insurance loan real estate for commercial Bedroom Furniture Lawyer Requirements Concept Design teach about alcohol abuse technology support autocar the family deal tile flooring ideas tips lifetime fitness tips reduce car insurance quotes Online Jewelry Stores traveller hotel Insurance and Finance Auto and Parts Mortgage and Finance Drug Abuse Online Lottery Games Drug Abuse Health and Fitness Health and Fitness free music downloads Law Reports Wallpapers Artist online shop originals Product Auto Parts Web Developer online shop originals Product Insurance Company Health Life Technology System Home Security Beauty Cosmetic Online Travel Agency Linux Tips Guide Shooting Simulator Gadgets Technology Project Build Houses Payday Loans Health News Information Animals Shop Travel Agency North Owl Network Dentist Healthy Aging asian pretty The Tool Hospital Barbecook Best way to make Money with Forex Trading Green Home Design Online Lottery Party Clothing lawyer salary information auto car loans and insurance European Education Technology Terms The shirts and Jackets Design Capital One Credit Cards Commercial Real Estate Business Plan Competition travel channel and rental cars Pharmacy and drugs